Squirter Converter

Another weekend, another house party. I'm exhausted!

The theme was, supposedly, "Beach Party" but few guests really adhered to it. This particular house party is extremely play-oriented. Folks only have their clothes (or costumes) on for about an hour before everyone's naked. So why spend time and effort dressing to the theme?

I went with my accountant again. The man with the gorgeous but unreliable cock. =sigh= Primavera strives to be understanding and patient. Before the party we were both excited so I tumbled him onto the couch and straddled him for some pre-game action. Twenty minutes later his penis remained inert. Even for experienced swingers like us, this is incredibly awkward. So I drove to the party horny and frustrated, contemplating the gods of desire who make us fall hopelessly in love with flawed men for their amusement.

The party was a blast. I noticed the bartender right away. Not just because he was young, tall, and hot, but because I didn't recognize him. The host of this party has a regular staff of about half a dozen guys who rotate between bartending and security through the night. Most of them are either military or firefighers. And I know them all =smile=.

They get time off duty during the night to play with the guests, too. A nice little job perk.This guy was new. He'd just gotten out of five months Ranger training with no sex. My pussy got wet just thinking about it.

Unfortunately is wasn't to be. When his shift was over two girls yanked him from behind the bar and I didn't see him again until several hours later. And by that time I was finished. There's only so much fucking Primavera can take in one night.

The first guy I fucked was my accountant. On the ride over I was brutally honest with him. The failed attempt on the couch had left me terribly frustrated. When erect, his cock is truly fabulous and I craved it. "When your cock gets hard, I want it first." He agreed, naturally. Never argue with a horny woman.

Once at the party, his penis cooperated and we fucked like crazy. Finally!! Then, our appetites whetted, we searched for new prey. He went off with a friend and I accepted our host's invitation to play. He's rather short and fat, but had the nickname "Squirter Converter" so I figured he knew what he was doing.

He did this thing with his fingers while he was fucking me from behind that made me insane. He reached around an enclosed my clit between his first and second fingers. Gently, but firmly. Then he banged me like a jack hammer, my clit sliding back and forth between his fingers. With his other hand he pinched my nipple. I totally lost my mind. During my orgasm I felt an odd sensation like I had to pee and I knew I had squirted. "The squirter converter strikes again," my host crowed. Show off!

Then there was a strange tickly feeling on my thighs. I craned my head around and saw that another guest was laying between his legs, sucking his balls from underneath. She had oceans of curly blond hair that tickled my legs. Probably his, too. Her mouth on his cock evidently inspired him because he fucked me even harder the second time. This time he flipped me on my back and put my ankles around his neck. I love that position! If the cock is just the right length it hits my g-spot perfectly. He was a little too short, but I got a great ride out of it anyway.

By the time he was done with me I was semi-conscious with bliss, splayed out on the bed with a sizable puddle of squirt spreading outward from my pussy. I couldn't have moved if the house were burning down around me. My host became concerned and went to get me some water. On the way he evidently found my date because the accountant showed up and laid down beside me. He planted little kisses on my neck and shoulders. "Are you ok?"

"Fabulous."

Where's the Beef?

Swinging as a couple is very new to me. Hell, I've only been swinging as a single for less than a year and navigating all the complexities of group play can still confound me. But this weekend I had a uniquely couples-related issue that threw me for a loop.

The accountant and I went to another swing house party together. As a couple. Whatever that means at a party where anyone can end up screwing anyone else. Neither of us knew very many people there. We mingled and chatted for a while, then everyone started heading to the play rooms to get naked and fuck in various combinations.

And we followed, not having found anyone to join us yet. Like most house parties, there was different kinds of action going on in different rooms. We were kind of at loose ends. No one had invited us to join them, despite our chatting with lots of people earlier in the evening.

No problem. I suggested we find a room with some empty bed space and "jump in". Putting on your own show is the best way to get people interested in joining you. And I knew my man knew how to fuck. One look at his gorgeous cock and we'd have plenty of company.

Or not.

Yep. You guessed it. Little pecker did not want to come out to play. The accountant tried to hide how mortified he was. I did my best to ignore it. And we did other things. We traded oral, we watched other couples, etc. But the accountant's massive boner failed to make an appearance.

I understand that extremely well endowed men sometimes have trouble achieving and maintaining erections. It comes with the territory. So I wasn't terribly disappointed or even surprised that this little glitch occurred. I certainly wasn't going to spit out "Hey, dude, what the fuck happened to your cock? Where's the beef, huh?"

But that's the way swing parties work. There are no guarantees. If you go into a party expecting the best damn sex of your life, you're going to be disappointed sometimes. I went to the party expecting only to have an evening in the company of sex-positive people. And I was not disappointed.

None of the candidates from my last post panned out. There was some conflict or issue with each of them. One had his sitter cancel at the last minute. One suddenly remembered he had to work early Saturday morning. Another just never replied. As one of my readers suggested, these guys may just be dabblers. They get off on the fringes of the lifestyle but can't or won't jump all the way in.

I ended up going to the club alone - one of these big, multi-storey clubs. It's been an established vanilla night spot for years but recently some swing couples arranged with the management to set aside one floor for a lifestyle meet 'n greet once a month.

You enter the same door as the general public, but you tell the doorman you're there for the "Special Meeting" and you get a wristband for entrance into the swingers floor.

The club's security staff didn't police the wristbands very well and the word got around that the pervs were on the third floor. Gradually the vanilla partiers migrated to our floor evidently expecting to see a raucous sex show.

You can tell the difference between the swingers and the regular club-goers just by looking, though. No wristband really required. Swingers tend to be older, chubbier, not so on-trend with fashion, and very sexually experienced.

The vanilla kids were all young, thin, trying really hard to look like Abercrombie models, and probably suck in bed. The girls in particular were wearing WAY too much clothing covering WAY too much skin to be swingers.

It was fascinating people-watching. The older swing crowd was talking and laughing, exchanging photos of their kids, grinding and grabbing. The younger vanilla voyeurs were lurking and staring, waiting for us perverts to start doing something shocking.

What were they expecting? Whips, leather, barn yard animals, cheese whiz? Although I didn't end up playing, it was a very entertaining evening.

Hot Tub update

So what happened after the hot tub? Many have asked, so here it is....

When we started to get wrinkly we got out of the hot tub and went back to the main room in just our towels. (Why get dressed again?) Back in the main room the party had gotten hot. Clothes were coming off, dancing was getting dirtier, people were forming themselves up into threesomes or foursomes and looking for a bedroom to play in.

We had worked up an appetite so we grabbed a snack. There was a buffet kept stocked through the night. And morning. While we were replenishing carbs and fluids, he pointed out one of the televisions up on the wall. There were four of them around the room. Three had commercial porn. The fourth was a live feed from the Video Suite where two couples were making themselves into a kinky pretzel. Arms and legs everywhere.

We went to find ourselves a room to play in. Some were small and private. If you closed the door no one would join you. If you left the door open it was implied consent for others to come inside and watch you and perhaps play if all parties are agreeable. Then there were large suites with no doors and large padded floors for groups of 6-10 people. These were more of a freebie zone where anything goes.

There was also a play room with a swing, a padded bench, restraints and some other contraptions I didn't recognize. Lots of the rooms were full, but because it's such a big place we had no trouble finding a little spot of our own. Always polite, my accountant asked me if I wanted the door open or closed. I was so smitten with him that I didn't want to share, so we closed it. The man was a machine. He fucked me in every conceivable position and made me cum so much I thought I'd lose my mind.

But the guy wouldn't cum himself. This started to bother me so I asked him about it. Evidently he doesn't cum very easily. That's a new one one me. He just stayed hard as a rock through hours of fucking, watching me cum over and over. I was feeling self conscious and confused. Why wouldn't this guy cum, already?

I took it as a personal challenge and tried everything I could think of to make him cum. I finally got him off with my mouth. My blow jobs are famously irresistible, after all. Resistance is futile.

This is one of the few clubs where you can stay overnight if you reserve ahead of time, which my organized date had done. So we parted the next morning, tired and sore and very happy, having gotten only about an hour of sleep. And this is where one would expect the date to end, but wait, there's more......

Driving home he texted me, "I'm dying to bury my cock deep inside you again." And I texted him back, "My nipples are sore and tingly from being sucked all night." He replied, "I'll rub ice cubes on them and suck them some more."A few more texts like this and I was showered, changed and back in my car driving to his place where we, once again, failed to get more than an hour of sleep :)

After my less than satisfying playdate with the nervous pussy-phobic (see "Ninja attack" post) I decided to give it another try this weekend. With another guy, it goes without saying. I checked the web to see what was going on and noticed a popular club to which I'd never been was having a party. It was a private club and I needed a member to sponsor me so I checked the guest list.

There was only one person I "knew" (sort of), a guy who I'd been chatting with for a few weeks. He was smart, funny and had good references. And he's a sci-fi geek, like me. He looked like a mild-mannered accountant. So I said, what the hell, and shot him an email.

We met at the club and he was just like his pictures. He wore glasses, a polo shirt, had a conservative haircut and no sign of a tattoo or a piercing. No my usual bad boy biker type. The club was packed with swingers who all knew him by name and greeted him with smiles and hugs. Turns out he'd played with just about everyone in the room because he's been in the lifestyle for more than ten years.

We talked and drank and danced and flirted and ended up in the hot tub. The hot tub can hold about ten people but no one was in it yet when we arrived, although there were three very old men at a table next to the tub watching porn. As we got undressed my shy accountant whipped out a truly massive cock. My jaw nearly hit the floor. NOW I understood why he was so popular! He just winked and gave me a knowing smile.

When we slid in the water and started to make out, two of the old guys stripped down (their wrinkled flab confirming my earlier guess that they were probably in their 60's) and slipped into the water with us. I had never played in an on-prem club with a communal hot tub so I wasn't sure what the rules were. Which is one reason why having a sponsor is a good thing.

I looked at my accountant and had to do a double take. With his glasses off and his hair wet and touseled, he was gorgeous. I was dying to get hold of that giant cock so I slapped a Trojan on it and straddled him. Wow, the accountant sure knew how to fuck!

I was riding his sweet cock when I felt an extra hand rubbing my back. I was getting ready to cum so I just ignored it. My accountant grabbed my hips in both hands and rammed his truly astounding piece of man-flesh into me making me cum like crazy. He wrapped me in his arms and rocked me gently in the water as I came back down to earth.

But the extra hand was still there, sliding down my back toward my ass. I wasn't sure how to feel about this hand. I was unacquainted with its owner, who had not asked permission before touching. But what if he was a friend of my accountant? Or maybe this kind of touching is acceptable in the hot tub? Perhaps the hot tub is a "free for all" zone of which I was not aware? And I didn't want to be rude.

Then he reached my ass and started to stroke us both where our bodies were still joined. My accountant looked at me and raised his eyebrows. The question on his face told me that it was my choice to either allow this man to join us in a threesome, or to ask him to leave. The slightly freaked out, kinda horrified look on my face told him what he wanted to know and he said to the guy, politely, "Thanks, man, but we're ok." The guy backed off. No harm, no foul.

There's a line between being watched by strangers and being touched by strangers. One can be erotic and the other can be creepy. Being a newbie to the club and not wanting to offend a member, I got confused and lost track of the line. I'm very grateful to my sweet accountant for effortlessly extricating me from an uncomfortable situation. And for letting me play with his massive trouser snake all night long :)

Ninja Update

Last night I got an email from Brandon thanking me for a great time and asking if I wanted to set up a four-way with Violet and Doug, a couple we met at the club. She was an adorable little red head with a tiny, curvy body and Doug was a shaved-headed biker dude with a goatee and pierced ears. I'd love to play with them. But with Brandon.... not so much.

I wanted to reply, "You had a great time because I give AWESOME oral, Mr. Pussy-Phobic!" But I didn't. I applaud my restraint.

What I did say in reply is, "Should we tell Violet about your no-oral-until-the-second-date rule beforehand? Or are you going to make an exception for her?" Perhaps the applause was a bit premature....No reply as yet today. I'll keep you posted.

Ninja Attack!!

I went to a swing club with a new guy recently. Yes, I know I've started a lot of posts that way lately. And it's true, since losing my job last month I've used the free time to have a awful lot of sex with an awful lot of people. Safe sex always!

Brandon and I had exchanged emails and photos. We'd texted, IM'd and talked on the phone. So I thought I had a good idea what he was like. When he showed up he was cute and sexy. Par for the course, though, he was about 10 pounds heavier and 2 inches shorter than his pics and profile stated. I just expect it now. They all lie.

We got some drinks and chatted for a while, getting to know one another. All was going well except that he wouldn't maintain eye contact with me. He was looking around the room, studying the people, the walls, the furniture, the ceiling, the bar, the buffet. I started to wonder what was going on? He's in the military so maybe he's expecting to be attacked? So I asked him "What are you looking for? Are you expecting a ninja attack or something?" He just laughed. I laughed. But he kept the room under tight surveillance nevertheless.

When we went upstairs to the play area and started making out, he kept up the intense scrutiny of our surroundings. Even when kissing and nibbling me, his eyes were constantly roaming. His glances at the other people in the room were not lascivious, which I would have expected. There were about 5 other couples playing nearby and he was watching them all. Like they were suspects.

I couldn't let this go without comment, so I pointed to a lovely asian woman giving her man a hard ride, and whispered in his ear "Watch out! I think she's a ninja assassin! She's going to launch a ninja star at you any minute!!"

Like many people, he didn't quite get my quirky sense of humor.

None of this odd behavior is a deal breaker for me. I embrace oddity. I even find it endearing for the most part. But then we hit a wall. I was sucking his dick for quite a while in 69 position, but he was not reciprocating. Finally I had to give him a nudge. I said, "Hey, you know I've got a pussy down there, right?" He hemmed and hawed and then informed me he didn't go down on a woman until the second date. WTF?

Needless to say, there will be no second date. Not even if he brings a ninja.

"Swing into Spring" Swingers Party

Last night I went to an "Swing into Spring" swing party at a local sex club with an old friend. In fact, the man who first introduced me to the lifestyle almost a year ago. We had a falling out shortly thereafter and have only recently gotten back in touch.

Eric is a great guy, a fantastic lover, and has mad skills, but over the last year he's gained a LOT of weight. It does not detract from his performance in bed but it makes it hard to attract couples to play with at a swing party. If you've never been to one, here's how it works.....

All the couples mingle, drink, eat, dance, but what they're mainly doing is scoping each other out. Picking out the couple they want to play with. Of course everyone wants to play with the young, hot couples and no one is making eye contact with the old, fat couples. It's like we're in the wild and making our own "natural selection".

A man will lean into his date and whisper in her ear, "What about those two, over by the guacamole? What do you think of them?" She'll casually glance toward the guacamole, check out the target and reply, "Yummy! Let's invite them upstairs!", or "No, he's not very cute," or "He's way too fat."

I wasn't surprised no one asked us to go upstairs, so we went up to the "play area" by ourselves to start some mischief. Upstairs was a big open play area with a padded floor, some equipment and a few small private rooms. Around the edges of the open area were couches which were filled with about a dozen nervous looking couples with all their clothes still on.

Eric and I decided to use the sex swing. I had never tried one before. It's hard to describe, so it's best just to google it and see a picture. I was suspended on the swing about four feet off the floor, spread eagle, just the right height for my pussy to meet Eric's cock. Did I mention the sex swing is right in the middle of the open play area in full view of the couch potatoes?

After putting on a condom Eric and I began to fuck, using the swing to build the momentum. Eric held on to the swing's leather seat, varying the rhythm from fast-and-hard to slow-and-gentle. Did I mention he has mad skills?

The great thing about the swing is you can get a great pounding rhythm without anyone getting fatigued. The swing and gravity do all the work for you. Thank you Sir Isaac Newton!