Anal probe

No, Primavera didn't have an alien abduction fantasy! But she did learn a new fun fact about male anatomy!

Last night there was a special event at my favorite on-prem club; a fundraiser for AIDS charities. Yes, we swingers are interested in more than just naked fun and multiple orgasms! We aren't just perverts. We are altruistic, socially-conscious perverts!

The special guest for the night was a famous porn star/author. You'd recognize her real name, but I'll call her Tina. Retired from the film business, she now gives lectures and seminars. Tonight's event promised three couples a chance to participate in a "teaching orgy" with Tina while the rest of the audience watched.

A large, padded platform was set up in the middle of the dance floor, and the six winners stripped naked and sat in a semi circle around Tina. Like eager kindergartners looking up at the teacher. Except the teacher wore a red satin teddy with breast and pussy cut outs.

Tina told funny stories about the porn business and then got down to business, giving each "student" their part to play. Soon it was a writhing mass of naked limbs, breasts and asses. I was acquainted with most of the participants and had played with some.

The dj put on Barry White and everyone was either fucking, dancing or watching. In one corner of the dance floor was a stripper pole. The opposite corner had a dance cage. Horny guests who hadn't been picked for the main event made kinky use of them.

After Tina's tutorial was over, guests headed for the play rooms for serious fucking. One of the couples from the platform were friends of mine. She is a stunning curvy redhead and he is an adorable young lawyer. I had played with her before, but not with him. I was dying to get my hands on him, though. He had a smooth, milky pale, muscular body sprinkled with freckles.

The three of us headed upstairs where the playrooms were all taken, giggles and moans coming out of each one. The only available place was a big open spot in the middle of the floor with couches around it, so we took it.

While we were frolicking, licking and kissing, she told me that she'd been trying to get him to cum all night long. He admitted that he didn't cum very easily. Seriously, the guy was in an orgy with three couples and a porn star. If that doesn't make you cum, what does? We girls took this as a challenge and set to work.

My usual trick to make guys cum is a gentle finger in the ass. Sure enough, his eyes rolled back in his head and he gave a shuddery moan when I worked my finger in. He seemed to like it, so I experimented wiggling my finger around and he moaned even louder. Meanwhile my redheaded vixen was pinching his nipples and sucking his earlobe. His hands were busy with her clit. Who, you may be asking, was taking care of Primavera's hungry pussy? Sadly, no one. But I got my turn later :)

I noticed he gasped and moaned when I ran my finger over a particular bump inside his anus which turned out to be his prostate. (Evidently the prostate isn't just for cancer! Who knew?) I stroked it gently, adjusting the speed according to his breathless direction. "Just a bit slower.... that's it." God! What an amazing turn-on watching him shake and whimper while I worked him up to orgasm. The look of helpless ecstasy on his face almost made be cum right then and there. Finally he came with a shout and we girls high-fived our victory.

Then it was my turn. He put my ankles around his neck a banged me hard, just the way I like it. She and I occupied ourselves with each others' nipples. Nothing makes me cum faster than having my nipples and clit worked at the same time. The events of the evening had me so turned on that I came REALLY hard. "Hey! Someone is a squirter," my adorable lawyer grinned.

When we had all cum and were in that happy afterglow phase, we heard a blood curdling scream coming from one of the private rooms. Swear to god, I thought someone was dying. Of course it was just some guy climaxing but, seriously, he sounded more like he was being mauled by bears than getting his rocks off.

The only thing that would have made the evening perfect is if my accountant had joined us. But he was traveling. Maybe next time. I definitely want to try my new trick on him.

Squirter Converter

Another weekend, another house party. I'm exhausted!

The theme was, supposedly, "Beach Party" but few guests really adhered to it. This particular house party is extremely play-oriented. Folks only have their clothes (or costumes) on for about an hour before everyone's naked. So why spend time and effort dressing to the theme?

I went with my accountant again. The man with the gorgeous but unreliable cock. =sigh= Primavera strives to be understanding and patient. Before the party we were both excited so I tumbled him onto the couch and straddled him for some pre-game action. Twenty minutes later his penis remained inert. Even for experienced swingers like us, this is incredibly awkward. So I drove to the party horny and frustrated, contemplating the gods of desire who make us fall hopelessly in love with flawed men for their amusement.

The party was a blast. I noticed the bartender right away. Not just because he was young, tall, and hot, but because I didn't recognize him. The host of this party has a regular staff of about half a dozen guys who rotate between bartending and security through the night. Most of them are either military or firefighers. And I know them all =smile=.

They get time off duty during the night to play with the guests, too. A nice little job perk.This guy was new. He'd just gotten out of five months Ranger training with no sex. My pussy got wet just thinking about it.

Unfortunately is wasn't to be. When his shift was over two girls yanked him from behind the bar and I didn't see him again until several hours later. And by that time I was finished. There's only so much fucking Primavera can take in one night.

The first guy I fucked was my accountant. On the ride over I was brutally honest with him. The failed attempt on the couch had left me terribly frustrated. When erect, his cock is truly fabulous and I craved it. "When your cock gets hard, I want it first." He agreed, naturally. Never argue with a horny woman.

Once at the party, his penis cooperated and we fucked like crazy. Finally!! Then, our appetites whetted, we searched for new prey. He went off with a friend and I accepted our host's invitation to play. He's rather short and fat, but had the nickname "Squirter Converter" so I figured he knew what he was doing.

He did this thing with his fingers while he was fucking me from behind that made me insane. He reached around an enclosed my clit between his first and second fingers. Gently, but firmly. Then he banged me like a jack hammer, my clit sliding back and forth between his fingers. With his other hand he pinched my nipple. I totally lost my mind. During my orgasm I felt an odd sensation like I had to pee and I knew I had squirted. "The squirter converter strikes again," my host crowed. Show off!

Then there was a strange tickly feeling on my thighs. I craned my head around and saw that another guest was laying between his legs, sucking his balls from underneath. She had oceans of curly blond hair that tickled my legs. Probably his, too. Her mouth on his cock evidently inspired him because he fucked me even harder the second time. This time he flipped me on my back and put my ankles around his neck. I love that position! If the cock is just the right length it hits my g-spot perfectly. He was a little too short, but I got a great ride out of it anyway.

By the time he was done with me I was semi-conscious with bliss, splayed out on the bed with a sizable puddle of squirt spreading outward from my pussy. I couldn't have moved if the house were burning down around me. My host became concerned and went to get me some water. On the way he evidently found my date because the accountant showed up and laid down beside me. He planted little kisses on my neck and shoulders. "Are you ok?"

"Fabulous."

A peek at vanilla online dating

I was eating dinner at an outdoor cafe in an affluent neighborhood when I overheard an amusing conversation between a man and a woman who were having their first date after meeting on one of the vanilla dating sites. ("Vanilla" means non-swing, outside the lifestyle.)

Even without hearing what they were saying one could guess it was a first date by the careful way they were dressed; the man's meticulously ironed shirt, the woman's precice makeup. They were smiling a lot an fiddling with their wine glasses.

They talked about where they grew up, went to school, where they worked, how they liked their jobs. Do you have brothers and sisters? Do you have pets?

It struck me how different this was from the conversations I have with men I meet on the swing dating sites I use. On a first date the questions are...... different. Have you ever done a dp? (Double penetration.) Do you like on-prem clubs (where sex is permitted on the premises)? Are your nipples sensitive? Have you ever tried an orgy?

Swingers dress differently on a first date, too. Women tend to wear sexier dresses and higher heels. Men wear clothes that are easy to remove.

On the way home from dinner I got a text from a playmate who had a yen to tie me up and rub ice on my nipples. Yay! Dessert!

Online Swinging

Swingers personals websites are the way most swingers hook up nowadays. Back in the 90's you had to find and subscribe to underground magazines. It was a hassle. First you had to take a naughty photo. Then, have it processed by someone who wouldn't call the vice squad. Mail it in with your wittily phrased advertisement and wait weeks for it to come out in the next issue. Then wait weeks more for replies. Sheesh. It's a wonder anyone got shagged.

But now it's easy. Surf the sites and get immediate gratification. Post today and play tonight if you're lucky!

I'm what's called a Unicorn in the scene (a single female who is bi-comfortable) so I get lots of mail. Therefore I can be selective. It's not always easy to find quality sex despite hundreds of single male swingers out there. You need to sift meticulously to find the gems.

Here's a sample of what's in my box today. First let's look at HungOne, single male, 35. Alongside his profile are 7 pictures. I like it when guys post lots of pictures! How can I decide whether to meet you if all I can see is one fuzzy head shot circa 1996?

HungOne's seven pictures, alas, are all of his cock. A nice cock, I'll grant you, but it leaves me wondering what the rest of him looks like. Don't get me wrong, you can glean a lot of information from one cock shot. Does he shave? (A giant man-bush gets me reaching for my DELETE button fast.) Does he have a good digital camera? Can he achieve an erection? And if there's a woman in the shot with his cock, that tells you that at least one other woman found him appealing enough to fuck.

Next, let's look at SuperFly, single male, 33. Like HungOne, he has a lot of pictures, only one of which is a cock shot. Sadly, the rest of them are of him and his various vehicles. Fat man on a motorcylce, fat man in convertible, fat man on boat. I don't have anything against a man with a few pounds if he has other qualities and skills too. But I find it kinda creepy that this guy feels the need to show me all of his man toys. It's tacky.

The third message in my box is from Bond007, 45, single male. That's a red flag right there. Any guy who thinks he's James Bond is probably delusional. He's got no pictures posted at all, red flag #2. His message says that he's a "powerful" CEO from a Fortune 500 company in town on business for a few days. He is looking for nsa (no strings attached) fun. He's staying at a five star hotel. He is wealthy, "generous" and promises dinner at a nice restaurant where I may order whatever I want.

Can I get a "WTF?" from my sisters in blog land!! I'm hurriedly scanning through my profile to discover how this dipshit got the impression I was a call girl. Nope, nowhere did I write "whore" or any of its synonyms. I have a good mind do accept this guy's profile and go to the hotel. When he opens the door to his five star suite wearing the hotel-provided bathrobe that barely closes over his beer belly, I'll greet him with a supersoaker filled with blue kool-aid.

Where's the Beef?

Swinging as a couple is very new to me. Hell, I've only been swinging as a single for less than a year and navigating all the complexities of group play can still confound me. But this weekend I had a uniquely couples-related issue that threw me for a loop.

The accountant and I went to another swing house party together. As a couple. Whatever that means at a party where anyone can end up screwing anyone else. Neither of us knew very many people there. We mingled and chatted for a while, then everyone started heading to the play rooms to get naked and fuck in various combinations.

And we followed, not having found anyone to join us yet. Like most house parties, there was different kinds of action going on in different rooms. We were kind of at loose ends. No one had invited us to join them, despite our chatting with lots of people earlier in the evening.

No problem. I suggested we find a room with some empty bed space and "jump in". Putting on your own show is the best way to get people interested in joining you. And I knew my man knew how to fuck. One look at his gorgeous cock and we'd have plenty of company.

Or not.

Yep. You guessed it. Little pecker did not want to come out to play. The accountant tried to hide how mortified he was. I did my best to ignore it. And we did other things. We traded oral, we watched other couples, etc. But the accountant's massive boner failed to make an appearance.

I understand that extremely well endowed men sometimes have trouble achieving and maintaining erections. It comes with the territory. So I wasn't terribly disappointed or even surprised that this little glitch occurred. I certainly wasn't going to spit out "Hey, dude, what the fuck happened to your cock? Where's the beef, huh?"

But that's the way swing parties work. There are no guarantees. If you go into a party expecting the best damn sex of your life, you're going to be disappointed sometimes. I went to the party expecting only to have an evening in the company of sex-positive people. And I was not disappointed.

Paying attention

Much of great sex is, in my opinion, paying attention. I can't tell you how many times I've told a man how much I love having my nipples played with, sucked, licked, pinched, plucked, rolled or nibbled only to have him ignore me. I'm speaking plain English, yet the message doesn't get through. Or he'll give them a few perfunctory swipes and then leave them lonely and unloved. =Sigh=

It's like I'm talking to a wall when I explain that there is a direct nerve link from my nipples to my clit. That when they attend to my nipples my whole pussy sings. My simple directions, "Hey! I like it when you play with my nipples!" just goes in one ear and out the other.

But my new lover needs no nipple instructions at all! Imagine my surprise and delight. My sexy accountant simply pays attention to my reactions when he sucks my pink buds. He makes a mental not that I moan louder when he pinches them and rolls them between his finger and thumb. A simple matter of repeating the techniques that elicit the most dramatic response.

Now he's doing this new thing that drives me crazy. He gently holds the nipple between his teeth and shakes his head like a dog with a chew toy. He knows he's onto something when I arch my back and beg him not to stop whenever he does it.

The man knows how to pay attention.

Weekend House Party

Last weekend the accountant and I went to a house party held by friends of ours. We had been looking forward to it for two weeks. Not just with erotic anticipation, but with some trepidation since his ex was going to be there. With another guy.

In the vanilla world this would be a big deal, but in the swinger world? Actually, it wasn't so bad. She was clearly uncomfortable, but cordial. No one suggested a four-way. No surprise there.

Like I often do, I arrived in street clothes and changed into my swinging outfit at the house. Saturday night it was a shiny, black pvc micro-minidress with a plunging neckline, thigh-high fishnets and heels. He wanted me to dress sexy and I was not about to disappoint. I wore no panties and the dress barely covered my ass so he could reach in and stroke my naked pussy whenever he wanted.

There were about a dozen rooms on three floors with something different happening in each. There was also a deck where we saw a vivid illustration of why there should be no drugs at swing parties.

We were chatting with a friendly, attractive couple and I began thinking that the four of us should get naked when they whip out the weed and start smoking. I took a hit to be sociable, the accountant said no thanks, but the other couple were puffing up a storm.

An hour later they were both out of commission. She was asleep and he couldn't get a hardon to save his life. Their loss!

We ended up in one of the larger play rooms with the beds full of people moaning and fucking. After we stipped the accountant sat on a bar stool in a corner with me standing between his legs, both of us facing the room so we could see the action.

He reached around to get my nipples and clit while I reached behind and worked his cock. We had fucked each other silly earlier in the day so we were in no rush to jump back into bed. Watching someone in being fucked hard, in the flesh, is nothing like watching porn on a screen with skinny, bored actresses and their fake boobs.

A gorgeous blonde with a lush, round figure was riding a big tattoo'd biker with her head thrown back, shouting as her orgasm approached.

We were enjoying putting on a show, too. I was standing feet wide apart, naked but for stockings and heels, my hands behind me, getting my nipples and clit worked hard. Then I turned and knelt to give him a blow job, being sure everyone got a look at his big, heavy hard-on before I took it down my throat.

I had heard of squirting before but had never seen it. Wow! The blonde's moaning and writhing was getting more desperate when she stopped and advised the biker, "I squirt, is that ok?" Like he's going to say no? A moment later she let loose a gusher accompanied by an indescribable gurgling noise emanating from her pussy lips.

It bears repeating: wow!

Can swingers fall in love? And if they can, what does that look like? I am falling in love with the accountant. And it's really out of character for me. I fuck people, I don't love them. So I'm in uncharted waters now.

When I first confessed this annoying infatuation here in my journal, one of my readers recommended I play with someone else, just as I normally would do. Taking his advice, I went for drinks with the scientist, just to meet, not play. Like I often do, I posted on Facebook that I was going out. Since my vanilla friends are on Facebook, I did not mention that I was meeting a fellow swinger and potential sex partner.

The accountant (who is travelling this week) posted back, "Did you have fun?" And I was torn. What to tell him? He's not my "boyfriend", so I'm not "cheating". But, by the same token, who I see is none of his business. So I told him I had a great time catching up with vanilla friends. Now I've lied to him. A sure sign I'm in love.

The accountant lives an hour and a half from me and travels alot so even if we were in a relationship, he'd never be able to give me enough sex for exclusivity to be an option. Simple logistics. So if we became "serious" I would need to play with other men when he's away. Is this how it works for swinging couples? Can I compartmentalize my life that way? If I he and I become partners, when we're in bed together it will be "making love to my man" and when I have playdates it will be "banging my fuck-buddy". Is that how it works?

I'm confused. Another sure sign I'm in love. Fuck.

Fresh off the vanilla bus

I met a new potential playmate last night. Someone even newer to the lifestyle than I am. Seriously, he just stepped off the Vanilla Bus. He's been on the websites for a few months but has never played, been to a m&g or met anyone in real life. I'm his first (smile).

He's an adorable, earnest scientist who, perhaps, overthinks things too much, which explains why he's taken so long to jump in to the deep end of the swing pool. His profile shows a nice young man with a monstrous cock. Yay!!

We met for drinks at a cozy pub and he asked me a million questions about the lifestyle. What happens at a house party? What's the difference between an on-prem and off-prem party? Why does everyone hate single males? We had a great time, but schedules and circumstances made play out of the question so we made tentative plans to have a more intimate encounter sometime this week.

When he walked me to my car he demonstrated just how green he is by shaking my hand (rolls eyes). Seriously. I was totally prepared to give him a bj in the back seat but his mind was clearly NOT going there and who am I to push? But I did grab him and kiss him and had to coax him to open his mouth. Wow. I thought I was in junior high again.

So I'm wondering how our upcoming play date will go. Am I going to have to give this kid a crash course in Remedial Sex Ed? I SOOO want to get my hands on that juicy cock, but does the absent-minded professor know how to use it?

Details to cummm...

None of the candidates from my last post panned out. There was some conflict or issue with each of them. One had his sitter cancel at the last minute. One suddenly remembered he had to work early Saturday morning. Another just never replied. As one of my readers suggested, these guys may just be dabblers. They get off on the fringes of the lifestyle but can't or won't jump all the way in.

I ended up going to the club alone - one of these big, multi-storey clubs. It's been an established vanilla night spot for years but recently some swing couples arranged with the management to set aside one floor for a lifestyle meet 'n greet once a month.

You enter the same door as the general public, but you tell the doorman you're there for the "Special Meeting" and you get a wristband for entrance into the swingers floor.

The club's security staff didn't police the wristbands very well and the word got around that the pervs were on the third floor. Gradually the vanilla partiers migrated to our floor evidently expecting to see a raucous sex show.

You can tell the difference between the swingers and the regular club-goers just by looking, though. No wristband really required. Swingers tend to be older, chubbier, not so on-trend with fashion, and very sexually experienced.

The vanilla kids were all young, thin, trying really hard to look like Abercrombie models, and probably suck in bed. The girls in particular were wearing WAY too much clothing covering WAY too much skin to be swingers.

It was fascinating people-watching. The older swing crowd was talking and laughing, exchanging photos of their kids, grinding and grabbing. The younger vanilla voyeurs were lurking and staring, waiting for us perverts to start doing something shocking.

What were they expecting? Whips, leather, barn yard animals, cheese whiz? Although I didn't end up playing, it was a very entertaining evening.

Decisions, decisions.....

I want to try a new swingers meet 'n greet tonight but I don't want to go alone. So I put a notice on the website that I wanted a date. So far, here are the takers.....

Perry - he's 5' 5" tall and doesn't speak English. No face pics posted on his profile, but 17 cock shots. Nice cock!

Larry - he's 6' tall and 250 pounds. Bald. Not bad looking. His profile is witty and funny. Maybe?

Barry - he's only 25 years old, a good twenty years younger than I am. He's as cute as a button, but does he have skills? I find that most men in their twenties can't find a clit with a roadmap. But then again, this is just a m&g (off-prem) not a playdate. Sex may not be part of the deal, anyway.

Gary - I've been trading emails and texts with this guy for a few months now, and I'm beginning to suspect he's a mirage. Meetings are always alluded to but never really pan out. He claims he's a fireman and has a very hectic schedule. On the plus side, he's got red hair. I've got this thing for red hair. We'll see....

Harry - 64 years old. Pic shows a tiny wrikled man on a sailboat with a captain's hat and giant sunglesses. Sorry, grandpa.

I'll give you all the details in my next post!

Just a little creepy....

A couple of weeks ago I had a threesome with a long-time playmate, Rob, and his friend, Chuck, another guy from the same swingers site where we met. It was great. A wonderful time was had by all.

A few days later Chuck called to say hi, did I want to hook up again? Not for a threesome with Rob (he was working that day), just with him. A one-on-one. I had to think it over. I really liked Rob better; he's funny, smart and has a wicked, sarcastic sense of humor. Chuck was OK. He hadn't really blown my mind, but I was bored and horny so I agreed.

He came to my place and it was nice. Nothing spectacular, but nice. He didn't say much. Not a brilliant conversationalist, but that's OK. We parted and I figured I'd never hear from him again. Wrong.

Since then he calls and texts me three or four times a day. "When r we gona hook up again?", "What r u doin?", "What r u wearing?", "How was ur day?", "Send me a pic of ur pussy." I reply very briefly and noncommittally. And if I don't reply right away.. "R U mad at me?", "What did I do?", "Didn't I satisfy u?"

A swingers manual would come in handy for situations like this. I could just refer him to Chapter 3: Your Playmates are Not Your Mommy, or Your Best Friends. He's a little young, so maybe he's made a common newbie error. Mistaking sex for love. Taking a few hook-ups and blowing them up in your mind into a long term relationship.

I sent him what I hope was a nice message: "Dear Chuck, Thank you for a wonderful time. Perhaps it would be best if you simply wait for me to let you know if I want to meet up again? Thanks, Primavera."

I haven't heard from him since, but it got me wondering. This guy knows where I live. I probably shouldn't have asked him to my house until I knew him better. Live and learn.

In the past year as a lifestyle newbie, I've had quite a few firsts. First time being tied up. First time in a threesome, foursome, orgy. First time having sex in a hot tub, on a swing, with another girl, while people watched.

Next week I'll be experiencing another first which may not be quite so pleasant. First time attending a house party with a date (my scrumptious accountant from last post) whose ex-gf will be in attendance.

We were having a steamy hotel rendezvous when, during a breather, we decided to attend an upcoming party together. We cracked open his laptop and fired up the internet to send our rsvp and check the guest list. Already searching for possible playmates to form a group.

Suddenly he said, seemingly out of the blue, "You're going to have to wear something sexy." Huh? I ALWAYS look sexy. "That," he pointed at the screen,"is my ex."

Now, first off, I'm not sure how "being in a relationship" works for people in the lifestyle, as these two certainly were when they were "together". All I know for sure is that it does not imply exclusivity. And I'm equally unsure how being and "ex" in the lifestyle works either. I naturally suggested we forgo the party if it would be uncomfortable, but he demurred. "No way! Let's go!"

I didn't want to be nosy, because asking a lot of personal questions seems to be a lifestyle taboo. But I needed some information to help me navigate what could easily become an estrogen-fired minefield. I asked, tactfully, who had initiated the break up and if it had been amicable. Turns out he had ended the affair and it had not been entirely amicable. Shit.

I had a flash of an ugly cat fight, drinks thrown, hair pulling, name calling, although I have never seen any of this kind of behavior at a lifestyle event. Amazing how calm people remain when they're having enough sex. I think this is the solution to all world problems. Everyone should have tons of mind-blowing sex.

So now I'm wondering .... how sexy should I look? It's never fun to rub another woman's nose in the fact that you're fucking her ex. Tacky, tacky, tacky. I'm also wondering if he'll want a "mending fences" threesome? More to come as details unfold...

Advice on my attire to this unusual social event is welcome!.

Primavera's Happy Blowjob Tips for Boys and Girls

In my last post I recounted how I coaxed an orgasm out of a gentleman who has trouble climaxing. Resistance is futile in the face of my outstanding oral skills! Since then many have asked for some tips for a great blowjob, here they are.

TIPS FOR GIRLS

1 GO SLOW
No prolonged, vigorous pumping and sucking. It desensitizes the cock. It's not a race.

2 THE BALLS
Pay attention to his balls, licking and sucking. Even if your mouth is elsewhere, cup them in your hand and fondle them.

3 THE PERINEUM
The perineum is the spot behind the balls. It's super sensitive. Lick it, then blow on it to give a chilly tingle.

4 THE ANUS
Work the anus. Some guys like it licked, some like penetration. Find out what your guy likes. Try inserting an anal plug and then blow him. He'll be crying for his mommy.

5 DEEP THROAT
Take the cock as deep as you can and "swallow" it. The contractions of your throat on the head of his cock will make him crazy.

6 VARIETY
Vary your routine. Keep changing what you're doing. Deep slow lollipop licks of the whole cock, and then change to little kitten licks on the head. Use your mouth for a while, then switch to hand work. Keep him guessing.

7 LOVE IT
Enjoy what you're doing. If you're not having fun, he'll know. (He might be too distracted to care, but he'll know.)

TIPS FOR BOYS

1 WASH
This is something you should have learned in kindergarten but it bears repeating because many of you have forgotten. Wash your entire body with warm soapy water every day paying special attention to your cock, balls, anus and ass crack. If my mouth is going to end up there, it better smell nice.

2 NO GRABBING
Don't put your hand on the back of my head when I'm going down on you. It can trigger the gag reflex. Don't believe me? Stick a banana down your throat and walk in my shoes.

3 NO HAIR PULLING
Hair pulling can be sexy, but not during a blowjob.

4 SO WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HANDS?
Stroke my neck and shoulders gently because after a while they get stiff.

5 MAKE SOME NOISE
Nothing turns me on more than hearing a man moan in helpless ecstasy when I blow him.

6 TALK TO ME
Do you like it? Is it too hard? To soft? Are you about to cum? An occasional update is helpful.

7 SWALLOWING
I don't swallow, so get over it. When you're going down on me, do I ask if I can pee in your mouth? No.

Further reading....

"How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" by Jenna Jameson

"The Guide to Getting it On" by D. Paul Joannides and Daerick Gross

Hot Tub update

So what happened after the hot tub? Many have asked, so here it is....

When we started to get wrinkly we got out of the hot tub and went back to the main room in just our towels. (Why get dressed again?) Back in the main room the party had gotten hot. Clothes were coming off, dancing was getting dirtier, people were forming themselves up into threesomes or foursomes and looking for a bedroom to play in.

We had worked up an appetite so we grabbed a snack. There was a buffet kept stocked through the night. And morning. While we were replenishing carbs and fluids, he pointed out one of the televisions up on the wall. There were four of them around the room. Three had commercial porn. The fourth was a live feed from the Video Suite where two couples were making themselves into a kinky pretzel. Arms and legs everywhere.

We went to find ourselves a room to play in. Some were small and private. If you closed the door no one would join you. If you left the door open it was implied consent for others to come inside and watch you and perhaps play if all parties are agreeable. Then there were large suites with no doors and large padded floors for groups of 6-10 people. These were more of a freebie zone where anything goes.

There was also a play room with a swing, a padded bench, restraints and some other contraptions I didn't recognize. Lots of the rooms were full, but because it's such a big place we had no trouble finding a little spot of our own. Always polite, my accountant asked me if I wanted the door open or closed. I was so smitten with him that I didn't want to share, so we closed it. The man was a machine. He fucked me in every conceivable position and made me cum so much I thought I'd lose my mind.

But the guy wouldn't cum himself. This started to bother me so I asked him about it. Evidently he doesn't cum very easily. That's a new one one me. He just stayed hard as a rock through hours of fucking, watching me cum over and over. I was feeling self conscious and confused. Why wouldn't this guy cum, already?

I took it as a personal challenge and tried everything I could think of to make him cum. I finally got him off with my mouth. My blow jobs are famously irresistible, after all. Resistance is futile.

This is one of the few clubs where you can stay overnight if you reserve ahead of time, which my organized date had done. So we parted the next morning, tired and sore and very happy, having gotten only about an hour of sleep. And this is where one would expect the date to end, but wait, there's more......

Driving home he texted me, "I'm dying to bury my cock deep inside you again." And I texted him back, "My nipples are sore and tingly from being sucked all night." He replied, "I'll rub ice cubes on them and suck them some more."A few more texts like this and I was showered, changed and back in my car driving to his place where we, once again, failed to get more than an hour of sleep :)

After my less than satisfying playdate with the nervous pussy-phobic (see "Ninja attack" post) I decided to give it another try this weekend. With another guy, it goes without saying. I checked the web to see what was going on and noticed a popular club to which I'd never been was having a party. It was a private club and I needed a member to sponsor me so I checked the guest list.

There was only one person I "knew" (sort of), a guy who I'd been chatting with for a few weeks. He was smart, funny and had good references. And he's a sci-fi geek, like me. He looked like a mild-mannered accountant. So I said, what the hell, and shot him an email.

We met at the club and he was just like his pictures. He wore glasses, a polo shirt, had a conservative haircut and no sign of a tattoo or a piercing. No my usual bad boy biker type. The club was packed with swingers who all knew him by name and greeted him with smiles and hugs. Turns out he'd played with just about everyone in the room because he's been in the lifestyle for more than ten years.

We talked and drank and danced and flirted and ended up in the hot tub. The hot tub can hold about ten people but no one was in it yet when we arrived, although there were three very old men at a table next to the tub watching porn. As we got undressed my shy accountant whipped out a truly massive cock. My jaw nearly hit the floor. NOW I understood why he was so popular! He just winked and gave me a knowing smile.

When we slid in the water and started to make out, two of the old guys stripped down (their wrinkled flab confirming my earlier guess that they were probably in their 60's) and slipped into the water with us. I had never played in an on-prem club with a communal hot tub so I wasn't sure what the rules were. Which is one reason why having a sponsor is a good thing.

I looked at my accountant and had to do a double take. With his glasses off and his hair wet and touseled, he was gorgeous. I was dying to get hold of that giant cock so I slapped a Trojan on it and straddled him. Wow, the accountant sure knew how to fuck!

I was riding his sweet cock when I felt an extra hand rubbing my back. I was getting ready to cum so I just ignored it. My accountant grabbed my hips in both hands and rammed his truly astounding piece of man-flesh into me making me cum like crazy. He wrapped me in his arms and rocked me gently in the water as I came back down to earth.

But the extra hand was still there, sliding down my back toward my ass. I wasn't sure how to feel about this hand. I was unacquainted with its owner, who had not asked permission before touching. But what if he was a friend of my accountant? Or maybe this kind of touching is acceptable in the hot tub? Perhaps the hot tub is a "free for all" zone of which I was not aware? And I didn't want to be rude.

Then he reached my ass and started to stroke us both where our bodies were still joined. My accountant looked at me and raised his eyebrows. The question on his face told me that it was my choice to either allow this man to join us in a threesome, or to ask him to leave. The slightly freaked out, kinda horrified look on my face told him what he wanted to know and he said to the guy, politely, "Thanks, man, but we're ok." The guy backed off. No harm, no foul.

There's a line between being watched by strangers and being touched by strangers. One can be erotic and the other can be creepy. Being a newbie to the club and not wanting to offend a member, I got confused and lost track of the line. I'm very grateful to my sweet accountant for effortlessly extricating me from an uncomfortable situation. And for letting me play with his massive trouser snake all night long :)

Sometimes you just need a good hard fuck. Not a quickie (though they're fun in their own way) but one of those day-long, call-out sick, marathon fuck-fests that leave you drained and shaky.

Where you cum so often and so hard there's a danger of dehydration.

Where you scream so loud the neighbors are banging on the wall and threatening to call the cops.

Where the pillows are on the floor and the sheets are soaked in body fluids, tangled in a knot at the end of the bed.

Where every one of your erogenous zones is rubbed raw, red and stinging.

Where you're slamming Red Bull, motrin and carbs to get through the next day at work.

Where your co-workers ask "Dude, what the fuck happened to you? You look like a train wreck." And you just smile. Wearily.

Ninja Update

Last night I got an email from Brandon thanking me for a great time and asking if I wanted to set up a four-way with Violet and Doug, a couple we met at the club. She was an adorable little red head with a tiny, curvy body and Doug was a shaved-headed biker dude with a goatee and pierced ears. I'd love to play with them. But with Brandon.... not so much.

I wanted to reply, "You had a great time because I give AWESOME oral, Mr. Pussy-Phobic!" But I didn't. I applaud my restraint.

What I did say in reply is, "Should we tell Violet about your no-oral-until-the-second-date rule beforehand? Or are you going to make an exception for her?" Perhaps the applause was a bit premature....No reply as yet today. I'll keep you posted.

Ninja Attack!!

I went to a swing club with a new guy recently. Yes, I know I've started a lot of posts that way lately. And it's true, since losing my job last month I've used the free time to have a awful lot of sex with an awful lot of people. Safe sex always!

Brandon and I had exchanged emails and photos. We'd texted, IM'd and talked on the phone. So I thought I had a good idea what he was like. When he showed up he was cute and sexy. Par for the course, though, he was about 10 pounds heavier and 2 inches shorter than his pics and profile stated. I just expect it now. They all lie.

We got some drinks and chatted for a while, getting to know one another. All was going well except that he wouldn't maintain eye contact with me. He was looking around the room, studying the people, the walls, the furniture, the ceiling, the bar, the buffet. I started to wonder what was going on? He's in the military so maybe he's expecting to be attacked? So I asked him "What are you looking for? Are you expecting a ninja attack or something?" He just laughed. I laughed. But he kept the room under tight surveillance nevertheless.

When we went upstairs to the play area and started making out, he kept up the intense scrutiny of our surroundings. Even when kissing and nibbling me, his eyes were constantly roaming. His glances at the other people in the room were not lascivious, which I would have expected. There were about 5 other couples playing nearby and he was watching them all. Like they were suspects.

I couldn't let this go without comment, so I pointed to a lovely asian woman giving her man a hard ride, and whispered in his ear "Watch out! I think she's a ninja assassin! She's going to launch a ninja star at you any minute!!"

Like many people, he didn't quite get my quirky sense of humor.

None of this odd behavior is a deal breaker for me. I embrace oddity. I even find it endearing for the most part. But then we hit a wall. I was sucking his dick for quite a while in 69 position, but he was not reciprocating. Finally I had to give him a nudge. I said, "Hey, you know I've got a pussy down there, right?" He hemmed and hawed and then informed me he didn't go down on a woman until the second date. WTF?

Needless to say, there will be no second date. Not even if he brings a ninja.

Sleepy sex

I love being woken up with sleepy morning sex. Especially after a night of more energetic, frantic fucking. Why? Because my pussy is still a little sore, wet and swollen from the pounding of the night before.

And when your cock slides slowly in theres a little sting and a little ache. My pussy flinches a bit, remembering all the orgasms it had just a few hours ago. My clit is sore from being sucked by your lips, nibbled by your teeth and pounded by your pubic bone.

The tender, sensitive tissues of my vaginal wall are exhausted from clenching and contracting with each climax you gave me with your hungry, relentless cock. You gave me only a moment to recover from one orgasm before you picked up the pace again and pushed me to another. And another.

You know how easily aroused I am. How I am helpless with desire the moment you touch me. How easy it is to make my clit throbbing hot with a few flicks of your fingertips. And you know with amused certainty that I will come harder than ever this morning because those erogenous zones you tortured last night are twice as sensitive now.

"Spring" Swing Party - Part II

Continued from last post......

Eric and I, naturally, were scoping out the other couples at the bar. One couple was probably in their late fifties, very fit, well dressed and attractive. Later, when Eric and I were on the swing, the woman came over and asked, "Can I suck your tits for a while?" Eric looked at me to see if I was cool with it, and we said "Sure!"

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE having my nipples sucked and pinched. Lots of guys pay attention to them only during foreplay and then abandon them for the pussy, leaving my nipples sad and neglected. =sad, forlorn face=

Kitty, our new playmate, nibbled, twisted and stroked me to ecstasy. Eric reached under her skirt and worked her clit. She had a smooth, gorgeous body with small, perky breasts. By this time some of the younger, nervous couples were loosening up and starting to make out. Yay!

Kitty asked Eric if she could suck his cock while he ate me out and he, unsurprisingly, agreed. "But first," she said, "I have to ask my Dom." Kitty got down on her hands and knees and crawled to one of the couches where her companion sat very dignified, sipping a martini. She kissed his shoe and gave him a pleading look. He smiled and nodded.

I had read about Dom/sub relationships before, but had never seen it in action. Kitty crawled back and with a bright smile started sucking Eric's cock with considerable skill. Eric and I looked at each other, shrugged and got busy.

Later in the evening we paused for a snack (it's important to keep your strength up during a marathon fuck-fest) and watched the action. Kitty was laying across her Dom's lap with her skirt bunched up around her waist while he fucked her with three fingers, hard and fast. She was moaning and squirming, but he would not let her cum.

Then he instructed her to kneel and suck his cock. He reached over and lifted her skirt so her ass was exposed to the whole room. Then he beckoned to a man standing nearby and asked if he wanted to make Kitty cum. He whipped out a massive boner, put on a condom and sent Kitty to the moon in a few thrusts.

I don't know if I could ever crawl to a man on my knees, but to each her own....

"Swing into Spring" Swingers Party

Last night I went to an "Swing into Spring" swing party at a local sex club with an old friend. In fact, the man who first introduced me to the lifestyle almost a year ago. We had a falling out shortly thereafter and have only recently gotten back in touch.

Eric is a great guy, a fantastic lover, and has mad skills, but over the last year he's gained a LOT of weight. It does not detract from his performance in bed but it makes it hard to attract couples to play with at a swing party. If you've never been to one, here's how it works.....

All the couples mingle, drink, eat, dance, but what they're mainly doing is scoping each other out. Picking out the couple they want to play with. Of course everyone wants to play with the young, hot couples and no one is making eye contact with the old, fat couples. It's like we're in the wild and making our own "natural selection".

A man will lean into his date and whisper in her ear, "What about those two, over by the guacamole? What do you think of them?" She'll casually glance toward the guacamole, check out the target and reply, "Yummy! Let's invite them upstairs!", or "No, he's not very cute," or "He's way too fat."

I wasn't surprised no one asked us to go upstairs, so we went up to the "play area" by ourselves to start some mischief. Upstairs was a big open play area with a padded floor, some equipment and a few small private rooms. Around the edges of the open area were couches which were filled with about a dozen nervous looking couples with all their clothes still on.

Eric and I decided to use the sex swing. I had never tried one before. It's hard to describe, so it's best just to google it and see a picture. I was suspended on the swing about four feet off the floor, spread eagle, just the right height for my pussy to meet Eric's cock. Did I mention the sex swing is right in the middle of the open play area in full view of the couch potatoes?

After putting on a condom Eric and I began to fuck, using the swing to build the momentum. Eric held on to the swing's leather seat, varying the rhythm from fast-and-hard to slow-and-gentle. Did I mention he has mad skills?

The great thing about the swing is you can get a great pounding rhythm without anyone getting fatigued. The swing and gravity do all the work for you. Thank you Sir Isaac Newton!

It's a cliche, I know, but you'll never really know if you like something unless you try it. I had a play date today with a gorgeous young man. We've played once before and he was super sweet. He texted me at 8:30am saying he was horny and had the day off... did I want to play? I replied that I was still in bed. Masturbating with my favorite dildo while fantasizing about his yummy cock. After a shocked interval, he invited me to bring my dildo and any other toys I wish.

I went over to his place with my bag of naughty hardware. He opened the door damp from the shower. He's kinda shy and not terribly talkative, but VERY passionate. The first time you go to someone's house for a play date there's the obligatory.... "Let me take you on a tour..." to break the ice. The tour is brief and ends up in the bedroom. It's nicer than opening the door with a blunt "Let's go fuck now."

We were on round two when he opened the sex bag and looked at my toys. He seemed fascinated with my anal plug. It's very small and soft. In fact, the packaged in which it came named it "The Newbie". And of course the aforementioned dildo. He popped the plug in my ass, then slid the dildo in my pussy and began licking my clit. Slowly. I thought I would die. The triple stimulation of my ass, pussy and clit drove me insane and brought me to an amazingly intense orgasm.

Noticing his fascination with the anal plug, I asked if he wanted to try it. I explained how it intensified orgasm for both men and women. How - in men - it stimulated the prostate gland just behind the cock. My sweet, shy boy hesitated for a minute, then said yes with a smile. After washing it thoroughly with warm soapy water, I slid it into his tight hole. He gasped a little. I asked him how it felt, and he admitted it felt a little strange. "Strange good? Or strange bad?" He had his eyes shut and his brow screwed up. "I'm not sure...."

He flipped me on my back and started fucking me, really slowly at first as he got used to having his ass and his cock stimulated simultaneously. He looked a little confused. Then his face bloomed, he threw his head back and he started to moan. There was a note of surprised ecstasy in his voice. Then he was fucking me hard and fast, shouting "Oh God!" and then he came like a freight train.

He was gasping "Holy Crap!" and I was laughing. Not at him, with him. Then we were both laughing. I didn't cum, yet watching him have one of the most powerful orgasms of his life made it some of the best sex I've ever had. Unselfish - that's me!.

For all of you waiting for the exciting play-by-play of the house party I went to on Friday night, I hate to disappoint you. It was rather quiet. There were only about forty people there. About half the number who usually attend.

I suppose it's the economy. Since the new year all the clubs and parties have been lightly attended. And those who did attend were more subdued than normal. Lots of quiet talking, fewer rambunctious people running through the hall flinging off their clothes. Less gaudy costumes. There was still lots of skin showing, but the volume was definitely turned down. And this was a party that usually goes up to eleven.

Not one person leapt onto the bar and started stripping spontaneously. Don't get me wrong, there was plenty of sex. But the crowd needed a jump-start to get the party going. My date and I were sitting in the living room with a group of people talking and drinking and nibbling. It was still early and everyone still had (most of) their clothes on.

As usual our hostess had all the lights off with dozens of candles burning. Very romantic. I picked up a little pastry stuffed with cream and let my date watch me suck the cream off my finger. I had decided it was time to move the conversation off the Dow Jones Industrials, and I had a plan. He grinned at me as I scooped another blob of cream onto my finger and sucked it off slowly, mimicking a blow job. I sucked the next bit of cream off his lips.

Then I unbuttoned his shirt and creamed his nipples. Most guys don't have a lot of sensation in their nipples, but he does, and it was fun licking them until they got hard. Unsurprisingly, the economic conversation began to falter around me.

Then I unbuttoned his pants, pulled out his cock, and took my sweet time spreading cream all over it. By the time I lowered my head to suck him clean, no one was talking about job cuts or bail outs. From that point on the party took a turn toward the erotic. Soon clothes were off and people were kissing and licking and sorting themselves out into pairs, threesomes, foursomes and moresomes. Success!

House Party!

Tomorrow night my date and I are going to an open play house party thrown by a very cool swinging couple we know. We've been there before and it's a blast.

House parties are nice because, unlike some clubs, there are no restrictions on where or when play or nudity are allowed. At the play house, anything goes.

The first time we went there we walked into the kitchen and found a girl lying on the island, spread eagle. One guy was drizzling chocolate sauce on her nipples while another girl was licking it off. Another man, naked, was standing in front of the open frig, frowning and looking for more ingredients for "dessert." There was lots of giggling.

Upstairs in the bedrooms was where the serious fucking was going on. We took a lap through the house before going down to the living room where a crowd had gathered around a sybian one guy had brought.

For the uninitiated, a sybian is a sex toy consisting of a mounted phallus and a controller. The guy was working the controller while the girl rode it. With the buttons on the controller he could vary the speed and intensity of the vibration, oscillation and thrust of the phallus. Both were having a great time with it. He - watching her come apart, and she - screaming her head off.

Later, when I took a turn on it, I discovered there was also a roughened knob in front of the phallus that hit my clit just right. My date gave me a wicked grin as he started playing with the buttons and learned that the clit knob vibrated too.

The thrusting of the phallus and the vibrating of the clit knob felt amazing, and he varied the intensity from fast to slow, fast to slow, so I didn't come too fast. Then the other guy was behind me, nibbling my neck and pinching my nipples and it sent me over the edge.

"Watch, she's coming.." someone in the crowd said, stating the glaringly obvious. No shit, Sherlock. People in the next time zone knew I was coming. (Sometimes I can be a little loud.)

I hope he brings it again tomorrow night!

Hello newbie!

As the Talking Heads asked so poetically "How did I get here?"


How did I find the Swing Scene? Aka the "Lifestyle"? Actually, it was by accident. I had been hopping around the vanilla dating sites for a while. Match.com, Yahoo Personals, OK Cupid, PlentyofFish. I tried them all.


vanilla: anything not in the swing scene or lifestyle related


They weren't really the place for me because unlike most of the girls on those sites I wasn't looking for a traditional boyfriend. I wanted great sex. And I found a guy who gave it to me. After blowing my mind in bed he told me about the lifestyle.


lifestyle: a community of sex-positive people who gather for a variety of group sex activities.


He told me there were websites where swingers found each other and clubs where they met to play. Most swingers are couples who play together, but there are plenty of singles, too.


play: to have sex in various configurations, including, but not limited to intercourse, oral sex, exhibitionism, voyeurism, etc.


I was incredulous at first, but after doing some research and signing on to the website, I was enthralled. Here were people like me! Hundreds of them! I wasn't a sex crazed freak or a nymphomaniac! I created a swingers profile, posted some pictures and never looked back.

More details to come.....

Enough cock to go around

I was recently invited to a swing party by a couple I did not know. The invitation stated that they were inviting 35 couples, 10 single females and (all caps was their idea!) NO SINGLE MEN. Why the last part needed to be capitalized I'm not sure.

I see that restriction a lot in club and party listings. And I sort of understand their logic. I've been to open meet n' greets where there's an excess of creepy guys hovering around the edges looking for prey. These guys aren't swingers, they're predators. They've heard about the lifestyle and think it's a place where anyone can get laid, no matter how unappealing he may be.

But on the other hand, I like single gentlemen and a party with more of them not less of them is the one for me. In the party mentioned above there will be 35 cocks and 45 pussies. I think that ratio is off because one pussy can accommodate several cocks without pausing to "reload". While men need to wait after each orgasm to re-establish erection. And then there's me - who loves nothing more than one cock in my mouth and another banging my pussy.

By my math, you need twice as many cocks as pussies. =wicked grin=

But, alas, finding quality cock isn't as easy as it sounds. In order to fit into a swing party, the organ needs to be attached to a gentleman. Google it if you're not sure. The perfect single male party guest is attractive, fit, endowed, experienced, polite, clean and respectful. By the way, that pretty well describes the perfect female guest, too.

Your balls may have tasted like spring rain this morning, but.....

Prep time is important before going to an on-prem club, house party or play date. Especially in group situations, you can expect lips, tongues and fingers everywhere on your body, so being fresh, clean and tasty is paramount.

One of my most erotic experiences at a swing party involved a young man slowly licking, biting and sucking every inch of my body. Between my toes, the backs of my knees, shoulder blades, each individual vertebrae, fingertips..... each spot was slowly worshiped. Wow. So, just in case it happens again, I shave, exfoliate and moisturize EVERYWHERE before a party.

But when I'm licking a man (or woman) I can get distracted by the chemical taste of moisturizer, deodorant or perfume clinging to their skin, so I'm trying something new I read about in one of those annoying "women's" magazines; a sugar scrub.

You find all the ingredients in your kitchen: granulated sugar, plain oatmeal, honey and vegetable oil. Mix it all into a paste and scrub your body with it. Rinse. Your skin isn't just silky smooth, but it tastes good, too! You can buy commercial body scrubs, but they aren't as cheap or tasty is this.

Another tip - freshen up during a long sweaty party. If I've been mingling, dancing and sweating at a crowded club for an hour, all my earlier hard work at freshness may be moot. So I take a break in the ladies room and wash the critical areas.

Guys, take note. If I'm going down on you after a work-out on the dance floor and your last shower was 9 hours ago, a trip to the men's room with a damp paper towel is not a bad idea. Your balls may have tasted like spring rain this morning, but at midnight their bouquet is probably closer to old cheese. Help a girl out, ok?

Sex in a down economy

Is the down economy effecting our libidos? Certainly we are more afraid, nervous, concerned, worried than at any time since 911. But are we more horny? Or less? Are we having more sex or less? Are we embarking on sexual adventures as an escape from seemingly endless bad news? Or is the concern over paying the bills a big fat buzz kill?

For me personally, I've been having LOTS more sex since the economy went south. But that's mostly because I've been laid off and suddenly have LOTS of free time on my hands. When I'm not job hunting I'm on the lifestyle and swing sites posting and chatting and flirting. I can have a furious fuckfest every night if I want. And that has certainly been my goal.

Yes, I am concerned about finding a new job. Scared to death that I'll end up a homeless bag lady. But I also have an amazing sense of freedom. Or maybe it's free fall? And it is intoxicating. My libido (nothing to sneeze at in the first place) has gone through the roof.

Last week I had a nice young man (35) over for a playdate. He was rather shy and a little geeky and totally adorable. High school teacher - the one all the girls had a crush on. He was so quiet I thought we weren't clicking until we got back to my place. As soon as the door closed he pushed me against the wall, grabbed my wrists and pinned them over my head.

I don't know what it is, but having my hands held down just makes me insane with lust. I spread my feet apart so he could grind his erection into my pussy. We had a hot, wet standing fuck right there in the hallway before heading into the bedroom for round two.

But soon afterwards he was up, putting on his clothes. "I'm really sorry, but I've got to get up at 6am," he said. I, on the other hand, was ready to stay up til dawn screwing his brains out. Being unemployed and having no place to be at the crack of dawn, I was free to do so.

But not my sweet teacher. After he was fully dressed he DID hop back on the bed for some apologetic farewell necking. He didn't say the obvious: "Some of us have jobs."After he left (at about midnight) I was twice as horny as before. =Sigh= I've either got to find a job, or more playmates.

Last night my date and I decided to "take it to the next level" with bondage. A quick trip to the hardware store and we were ready to roll. I say "take it to the next level" because I don't let just anyone tie me up. I have to know you pretty well before you learn my safe word.

A lot of people think bondage is about pain. It's not. Or humiliation. It's not. Or submission. It's not. It's about heightened sensation. Here's why - when you're in bed (or wherever) making love, only half of your brain is focused on sensation. Feeling what the other person is doing to you. Feeling his fingers on your nipples. Feeling his cock sliding inside you. Only HALF your brain is feeling these things.

The other half of your brain is busily occupied with your performance. Am I caressing his balls too roughly? Am I licking him to quickly? What should I be doing now? What is he waiting for me to do? Where should I touch him next to rock his world?

When you're restrained the responsibility to make love to him is taken off your plate (until you tie him up and its YOUR turn on top!) You are free to use 100% of your brain to just FEEL his teeth nibbling your clit. Feel it with your whole body, mind and soul.

And when he has control, he is freer to bring you up and down the scale of sensation as he pleases. If he is skilled, he can bring you to the edge and keep you there as long as he wants. Or he can give you a quick series of fast, hard orgasms. Or he can give you a long hot oil massage while carefully avoiding your erogenous zones until you beg to be fucked.

I'll never walk through the hardware store without a smile on my face from now on.

Tonight I have a playdate with a lovely guy I haven't seen in a while. Can't wait! The last time we got together was at an on-prem lifestyle club known for its playful crowd.

It's a huge space with a bar and dancefloor downstairs and play areas upstairs, both open and private. We eventually ended up in my favorite spot, the Red Room. It's got a door for privacy, but it's also got a big picture window out to the pulbic play area so people can watch you.

While we were fucking, we could look up at any time and see the crowd outside watching us. Some of them had their backs to us, watching the large group of naked bodies in the open play area. One woman had her naked breasts pushed up against the glass, her hands splayed, being fucked hard from behind by her partner. They were both watching us, getting off.

The walls didn't go all the way up to the ceiling, so you could hear everything, and that was a turn on too. Tonight will just be the two of us. No spectators, but I think we'll find a way to make it interesting. :)

Welcome to the Lifestyle!

Several months ago I learned about the Lifestyle, a nation-wide sex-positive subculture of singles and couples. Normal people you'd see at the supermarket. Teachers, doctors, plumbers, writers, waiters, etc.

They're very private and fly pretty far under the radar. That's probably why you've never heard of them. Anything you've seen on TV or read about in a magazine is probably wrong.

There are no secret handshakes, but there are plenty of rules both explicit and implied. The first rule is "no" means no. The second is safe sex always. The third is no drugs, ever.

There are more.... some of which I learned to my chagrin. Like wearing panties to a lifestyle party is a sure way to mark you as a newbie. This journal is where I'll record my journey into the lifestyle. Enjoy the ride.