In the past year as a lifestyle newbie, I've had quite a few firsts. First time being tied up. First time in a threesome, foursome, orgy. First time having sex in a hot tub, on a swing, with another girl, while people watched.

Next week I'll be experiencing another first which may not be quite so pleasant. First time attending a house party with a date (my scrumptious accountant from last post) whose ex-gf will be in attendance.

We were having a steamy hotel rendezvous when, during a breather, we decided to attend an upcoming party together. We cracked open his laptop and fired up the internet to send our rsvp and check the guest list. Already searching for possible playmates to form a group.

Suddenly he said, seemingly out of the blue, "You're going to have to wear something sexy." Huh? I ALWAYS look sexy. "That," he pointed at the screen,"is my ex."

Now, first off, I'm not sure how "being in a relationship" works for people in the lifestyle, as these two certainly were when they were "together". All I know for sure is that it does not imply exclusivity. And I'm equally unsure how being and "ex" in the lifestyle works either. I naturally suggested we forgo the party if it would be uncomfortable, but he demurred. "No way! Let's go!"

I didn't want to be nosy, because asking a lot of personal questions seems to be a lifestyle taboo. But I needed some information to help me navigate what could easily become an estrogen-fired minefield. I asked, tactfully, who had initiated the break up and if it had been amicable. Turns out he had ended the affair and it had not been entirely amicable. Shit.

I had a flash of an ugly cat fight, drinks thrown, hair pulling, name calling, although I have never seen any of this kind of behavior at a lifestyle event. Amazing how calm people remain when they're having enough sex. I think this is the solution to all world problems. Everyone should have tons of mind-blowing sex.

So now I'm wondering .... how sexy should I look? It's never fun to rub another woman's nose in the fact that you're fucking her ex. Tacky, tacky, tacky. I'm also wondering if he'll want a "mending fences" threesome? More to come as details unfold...

Advice on my attire to this unusual social event is welcome!.

Primavera's Happy Blowjob Tips for Boys and Girls

In my last post I recounted how I coaxed an orgasm out of a gentleman who has trouble climaxing. Resistance is futile in the face of my outstanding oral skills! Since then many have asked for some tips for a great blowjob, here they are.

TIPS FOR GIRLS

1 GO SLOW
No prolonged, vigorous pumping and sucking. It desensitizes the cock. It's not a race.

2 THE BALLS
Pay attention to his balls, licking and sucking. Even if your mouth is elsewhere, cup them in your hand and fondle them.

3 THE PERINEUM
The perineum is the spot behind the balls. It's super sensitive. Lick it, then blow on it to give a chilly tingle.

4 THE ANUS
Work the anus. Some guys like it licked, some like penetration. Find out what your guy likes. Try inserting an anal plug and then blow him. He'll be crying for his mommy.

5 DEEP THROAT
Take the cock as deep as you can and "swallow" it. The contractions of your throat on the head of his cock will make him crazy.

6 VARIETY
Vary your routine. Keep changing what you're doing. Deep slow lollipop licks of the whole cock, and then change to little kitten licks on the head. Use your mouth for a while, then switch to hand work. Keep him guessing.

7 LOVE IT
Enjoy what you're doing. If you're not having fun, he'll know. (He might be too distracted to care, but he'll know.)

TIPS FOR BOYS

1 WASH
This is something you should have learned in kindergarten but it bears repeating because many of you have forgotten. Wash your entire body with warm soapy water every day paying special attention to your cock, balls, anus and ass crack. If my mouth is going to end up there, it better smell nice.

2 NO GRABBING
Don't put your hand on the back of my head when I'm going down on you. It can trigger the gag reflex. Don't believe me? Stick a banana down your throat and walk in my shoes.

3 NO HAIR PULLING
Hair pulling can be sexy, but not during a blowjob.

4 SO WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HANDS?
Stroke my neck and shoulders gently because after a while they get stiff.

5 MAKE SOME NOISE
Nothing turns me on more than hearing a man moan in helpless ecstasy when I blow him.

6 TALK TO ME
Do you like it? Is it too hard? To soft? Are you about to cum? An occasional update is helpful.

7 SWALLOWING
I don't swallow, so get over it. When you're going down on me, do I ask if I can pee in your mouth? No.

Further reading....

"How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" by Jenna Jameson

"The Guide to Getting it On" by D. Paul Joannides and Daerick Gross

Hot Tub update

So what happened after the hot tub? Many have asked, so here it is....

When we started to get wrinkly we got out of the hot tub and went back to the main room in just our towels. (Why get dressed again?) Back in the main room the party had gotten hot. Clothes were coming off, dancing was getting dirtier, people were forming themselves up into threesomes or foursomes and looking for a bedroom to play in.

We had worked up an appetite so we grabbed a snack. There was a buffet kept stocked through the night. And morning. While we were replenishing carbs and fluids, he pointed out one of the televisions up on the wall. There were four of them around the room. Three had commercial porn. The fourth was a live feed from the Video Suite where two couples were making themselves into a kinky pretzel. Arms and legs everywhere.

We went to find ourselves a room to play in. Some were small and private. If you closed the door no one would join you. If you left the door open it was implied consent for others to come inside and watch you and perhaps play if all parties are agreeable. Then there were large suites with no doors and large padded floors for groups of 6-10 people. These were more of a freebie zone where anything goes.

There was also a play room with a swing, a padded bench, restraints and some other contraptions I didn't recognize. Lots of the rooms were full, but because it's such a big place we had no trouble finding a little spot of our own. Always polite, my accountant asked me if I wanted the door open or closed. I was so smitten with him that I didn't want to share, so we closed it. The man was a machine. He fucked me in every conceivable position and made me cum so much I thought I'd lose my mind.

But the guy wouldn't cum himself. This started to bother me so I asked him about it. Evidently he doesn't cum very easily. That's a new one one me. He just stayed hard as a rock through hours of fucking, watching me cum over and over. I was feeling self conscious and confused. Why wouldn't this guy cum, already?

I took it as a personal challenge and tried everything I could think of to make him cum. I finally got him off with my mouth. My blow jobs are famously irresistible, after all. Resistance is futile.

This is one of the few clubs where you can stay overnight if you reserve ahead of time, which my organized date had done. So we parted the next morning, tired and sore and very happy, having gotten only about an hour of sleep. And this is where one would expect the date to end, but wait, there's more......

Driving home he texted me, "I'm dying to bury my cock deep inside you again." And I texted him back, "My nipples are sore and tingly from being sucked all night." He replied, "I'll rub ice cubes on them and suck them some more."A few more texts like this and I was showered, changed and back in my car driving to his place where we, once again, failed to get more than an hour of sleep :)

After my less than satisfying playdate with the nervous pussy-phobic (see "Ninja attack" post) I decided to give it another try this weekend. With another guy, it goes without saying. I checked the web to see what was going on and noticed a popular club to which I'd never been was having a party. It was a private club and I needed a member to sponsor me so I checked the guest list.

There was only one person I "knew" (sort of), a guy who I'd been chatting with for a few weeks. He was smart, funny and had good references. And he's a sci-fi geek, like me. He looked like a mild-mannered accountant. So I said, what the hell, and shot him an email.

We met at the club and he was just like his pictures. He wore glasses, a polo shirt, had a conservative haircut and no sign of a tattoo or a piercing. No my usual bad boy biker type. The club was packed with swingers who all knew him by name and greeted him with smiles and hugs. Turns out he'd played with just about everyone in the room because he's been in the lifestyle for more than ten years.

We talked and drank and danced and flirted and ended up in the hot tub. The hot tub can hold about ten people but no one was in it yet when we arrived, although there were three very old men at a table next to the tub watching porn. As we got undressed my shy accountant whipped out a truly massive cock. My jaw nearly hit the floor. NOW I understood why he was so popular! He just winked and gave me a knowing smile.

When we slid in the water and started to make out, two of the old guys stripped down (their wrinkled flab confirming my earlier guess that they were probably in their 60's) and slipped into the water with us. I had never played in an on-prem club with a communal hot tub so I wasn't sure what the rules were. Which is one reason why having a sponsor is a good thing.

I looked at my accountant and had to do a double take. With his glasses off and his hair wet and touseled, he was gorgeous. I was dying to get hold of that giant cock so I slapped a Trojan on it and straddled him. Wow, the accountant sure knew how to fuck!

I was riding his sweet cock when I felt an extra hand rubbing my back. I was getting ready to cum so I just ignored it. My accountant grabbed my hips in both hands and rammed his truly astounding piece of man-flesh into me making me cum like crazy. He wrapped me in his arms and rocked me gently in the water as I came back down to earth.

But the extra hand was still there, sliding down my back toward my ass. I wasn't sure how to feel about this hand. I was unacquainted with its owner, who had not asked permission before touching. But what if he was a friend of my accountant? Or maybe this kind of touching is acceptable in the hot tub? Perhaps the hot tub is a "free for all" zone of which I was not aware? And I didn't want to be rude.

Then he reached my ass and started to stroke us both where our bodies were still joined. My accountant looked at me and raised his eyebrows. The question on his face told me that it was my choice to either allow this man to join us in a threesome, or to ask him to leave. The slightly freaked out, kinda horrified look on my face told him what he wanted to know and he said to the guy, politely, "Thanks, man, but we're ok." The guy backed off. No harm, no foul.

There's a line between being watched by strangers and being touched by strangers. One can be erotic and the other can be creepy. Being a newbie to the club and not wanting to offend a member, I got confused and lost track of the line. I'm very grateful to my sweet accountant for effortlessly extricating me from an uncomfortable situation. And for letting me play with his massive trouser snake all night long :)

Sometimes you just need a good hard fuck. Not a quickie (though they're fun in their own way) but one of those day-long, call-out sick, marathon fuck-fests that leave you drained and shaky.

Where you cum so often and so hard there's a danger of dehydration.

Where you scream so loud the neighbors are banging on the wall and threatening to call the cops.

Where the pillows are on the floor and the sheets are soaked in body fluids, tangled in a knot at the end of the bed.

Where every one of your erogenous zones is rubbed raw, red and stinging.

Where you're slamming Red Bull, motrin and carbs to get through the next day at work.

Where your co-workers ask "Dude, what the fuck happened to you? You look like a train wreck." And you just smile. Wearily.

Ninja Update

Last night I got an email from Brandon thanking me for a great time and asking if I wanted to set up a four-way with Violet and Doug, a couple we met at the club. She was an adorable little red head with a tiny, curvy body and Doug was a shaved-headed biker dude with a goatee and pierced ears. I'd love to play with them. But with Brandon.... not so much.

I wanted to reply, "You had a great time because I give AWESOME oral, Mr. Pussy-Phobic!" But I didn't. I applaud my restraint.

What I did say in reply is, "Should we tell Violet about your no-oral-until-the-second-date rule beforehand? Or are you going to make an exception for her?" Perhaps the applause was a bit premature....No reply as yet today. I'll keep you posted.

Ninja Attack!!

I went to a swing club with a new guy recently. Yes, I know I've started a lot of posts that way lately. And it's true, since losing my job last month I've used the free time to have a awful lot of sex with an awful lot of people. Safe sex always!

Brandon and I had exchanged emails and photos. We'd texted, IM'd and talked on the phone. So I thought I had a good idea what he was like. When he showed up he was cute and sexy. Par for the course, though, he was about 10 pounds heavier and 2 inches shorter than his pics and profile stated. I just expect it now. They all lie.

We got some drinks and chatted for a while, getting to know one another. All was going well except that he wouldn't maintain eye contact with me. He was looking around the room, studying the people, the walls, the furniture, the ceiling, the bar, the buffet. I started to wonder what was going on? He's in the military so maybe he's expecting to be attacked? So I asked him "What are you looking for? Are you expecting a ninja attack or something?" He just laughed. I laughed. But he kept the room under tight surveillance nevertheless.

When we went upstairs to the play area and started making out, he kept up the intense scrutiny of our surroundings. Even when kissing and nibbling me, his eyes were constantly roaming. His glances at the other people in the room were not lascivious, which I would have expected. There were about 5 other couples playing nearby and he was watching them all. Like they were suspects.

I couldn't let this go without comment, so I pointed to a lovely asian woman giving her man a hard ride, and whispered in his ear "Watch out! I think she's a ninja assassin! She's going to launch a ninja star at you any minute!!"

Like many people, he didn't quite get my quirky sense of humor.

None of this odd behavior is a deal breaker for me. I embrace oddity. I even find it endearing for the most part. But then we hit a wall. I was sucking his dick for quite a while in 69 position, but he was not reciprocating. Finally I had to give him a nudge. I said, "Hey, you know I've got a pussy down there, right?" He hemmed and hawed and then informed me he didn't go down on a woman until the second date. WTF?

Needless to say, there will be no second date. Not even if he brings a ninja.