In the past year as a lifestyle newbie, I've had quite a few firsts. First time being tied up. First time in a threesome, foursome, orgy. First time having sex in a hot tub, on a swing, with another girl, while people watched.

Next week I'll be experiencing another first which may not be quite so pleasant. First time attending a house party with a date (my scrumptious accountant from last post) whose ex-gf will be in attendance.

We were having a steamy hotel rendezvous when, during a breather, we decided to attend an upcoming party together. We cracked open his laptop and fired up the internet to send our rsvp and check the guest list. Already searching for possible playmates to form a group.

Suddenly he said, seemingly out of the blue, "You're going to have to wear something sexy." Huh? I ALWAYS look sexy. "That," he pointed at the screen,"is my ex."

Now, first off, I'm not sure how "being in a relationship" works for people in the lifestyle, as these two certainly were when they were "together". All I know for sure is that it does not imply exclusivity. And I'm equally unsure how being and "ex" in the lifestyle works either. I naturally suggested we forgo the party if it would be uncomfortable, but he demurred. "No way! Let's go!"

I didn't want to be nosy, because asking a lot of personal questions seems to be a lifestyle taboo. But I needed some information to help me navigate what could easily become an estrogen-fired minefield. I asked, tactfully, who had initiated the break up and if it had been amicable. Turns out he had ended the affair and it had not been entirely amicable. Shit.

I had a flash of an ugly cat fight, drinks thrown, hair pulling, name calling, although I have never seen any of this kind of behavior at a lifestyle event. Amazing how calm people remain when they're having enough sex. I think this is the solution to all world problems. Everyone should have tons of mind-blowing sex.

So now I'm wondering .... how sexy should I look? It's never fun to rub another woman's nose in the fact that you're fucking her ex. Tacky, tacky, tacky. I'm also wondering if he'll want a "mending fences" threesome? More to come as details unfold...

Advice on my attire to this unusual social event is welcome!.