Can swingers fall in love? And if they can, what does that look like? I am falling in love with the accountant. And it's really out of character for me. I fuck people, I don't love them. So I'm in uncharted waters now.

When I first confessed this annoying infatuation here in my journal, one of my readers recommended I play with someone else, just as I normally would do. Taking his advice, I went for drinks with the scientist, just to meet, not play. Like I often do, I posted on Facebook that I was going out. Since my vanilla friends are on Facebook, I did not mention that I was meeting a fellow swinger and potential sex partner.

The accountant (who is travelling this week) posted back, "Did you have fun?" And I was torn. What to tell him? He's not my "boyfriend", so I'm not "cheating". But, by the same token, who I see is none of his business. So I told him I had a great time catching up with vanilla friends. Now I've lied to him. A sure sign I'm in love.

The accountant lives an hour and a half from me and travels alot so even if we were in a relationship, he'd never be able to give me enough sex for exclusivity to be an option. Simple logistics. So if we became "serious" I would need to play with other men when he's away. Is this how it works for swinging couples? Can I compartmentalize my life that way? If I he and I become partners, when we're in bed together it will be "making love to my man" and when I have playdates it will be "banging my fuck-buddy". Is that how it works?

I'm confused. Another sure sign I'm in love. Fuck.