Can swingers fall in love? And if they can, what does that look like? I am falling in love with the accountant. And it's really out of character for me. I fuck people, I don't love them. So I'm in uncharted waters now.

When I first confessed this annoying infatuation here in my journal, one of my readers recommended I play with someone else, just as I normally would do. Taking his advice, I went for drinks with the scientist, just to meet, not play. Like I often do, I posted on Facebook that I was going out. Since my vanilla friends are on Facebook, I did not mention that I was meeting a fellow swinger and potential sex partner.

The accountant (who is travelling this week) posted back, "Did you have fun?" And I was torn. What to tell him? He's not my "boyfriend", so I'm not "cheating". But, by the same token, who I see is none of his business. So I told him I had a great time catching up with vanilla friends. Now I've lied to him. A sure sign I'm in love.

The accountant lives an hour and a half from me and travels alot so even if we were in a relationship, he'd never be able to give me enough sex for exclusivity to be an option. Simple logistics. So if we became "serious" I would need to play with other men when he's away. Is this how it works for swinging couples? Can I compartmentalize my life that way? If I he and I become partners, when we're in bed together it will be "making love to my man" and when I have playdates it will be "banging my fuck-buddy". Is that how it works?

I'm confused. Another sure sign I'm in love. Fuck.

Fresh off the vanilla bus

I met a new potential playmate last night. Someone even newer to the lifestyle than I am. Seriously, he just stepped off the Vanilla Bus. He's been on the websites for a few months but has never played, been to a m&g or met anyone in real life. I'm his first (smile).

He's an adorable, earnest scientist who, perhaps, overthinks things too much, which explains why he's taken so long to jump in to the deep end of the swing pool. His profile shows a nice young man with a monstrous cock. Yay!!

We met for drinks at a cozy pub and he asked me a million questions about the lifestyle. What happens at a house party? What's the difference between an on-prem and off-prem party? Why does everyone hate single males? We had a great time, but schedules and circumstances made play out of the question so we made tentative plans to have a more intimate encounter sometime this week.

When he walked me to my car he demonstrated just how green he is by shaking my hand (rolls eyes). Seriously. I was totally prepared to give him a bj in the back seat but his mind was clearly NOT going there and who am I to push? But I did grab him and kiss him and had to coax him to open his mouth. Wow. I thought I was in junior high again.

So I'm wondering how our upcoming play date will go. Am I going to have to give this kid a crash course in Remedial Sex Ed? I SOOO want to get my hands on that juicy cock, but does the absent-minded professor know how to use it?

Details to cummm...

None of the candidates from my last post panned out. There was some conflict or issue with each of them. One had his sitter cancel at the last minute. One suddenly remembered he had to work early Saturday morning. Another just never replied. As one of my readers suggested, these guys may just be dabblers. They get off on the fringes of the lifestyle but can't or won't jump all the way in.

I ended up going to the club alone - one of these big, multi-storey clubs. It's been an established vanilla night spot for years but recently some swing couples arranged with the management to set aside one floor for a lifestyle meet 'n greet once a month.

You enter the same door as the general public, but you tell the doorman you're there for the "Special Meeting" and you get a wristband for entrance into the swingers floor.

The club's security staff didn't police the wristbands very well and the word got around that the pervs were on the third floor. Gradually the vanilla partiers migrated to our floor evidently expecting to see a raucous sex show.

You can tell the difference between the swingers and the regular club-goers just by looking, though. No wristband really required. Swingers tend to be older, chubbier, not so on-trend with fashion, and very sexually experienced.

The vanilla kids were all young, thin, trying really hard to look like Abercrombie models, and probably suck in bed. The girls in particular were wearing WAY too much clothing covering WAY too much skin to be swingers.

It was fascinating people-watching. The older swing crowd was talking and laughing, exchanging photos of their kids, grinding and grabbing. The younger vanilla voyeurs were lurking and staring, waiting for us perverts to start doing something shocking.

What were they expecting? Whips, leather, barn yard animals, cheese whiz? Although I didn't end up playing, it was a very entertaining evening.

Decisions, decisions.....

I want to try a new swingers meet 'n greet tonight but I don't want to go alone. So I put a notice on the website that I wanted a date. So far, here are the takers.....

Perry - he's 5' 5" tall and doesn't speak English. No face pics posted on his profile, but 17 cock shots. Nice cock!

Larry - he's 6' tall and 250 pounds. Bald. Not bad looking. His profile is witty and funny. Maybe?

Barry - he's only 25 years old, a good twenty years younger than I am. He's as cute as a button, but does he have skills? I find that most men in their twenties can't find a clit with a roadmap. But then again, this is just a m&g (off-prem) not a playdate. Sex may not be part of the deal, anyway.

Gary - I've been trading emails and texts with this guy for a few months now, and I'm beginning to suspect he's a mirage. Meetings are always alluded to but never really pan out. He claims he's a fireman and has a very hectic schedule. On the plus side, he's got red hair. I've got this thing for red hair. We'll see....

Harry - 64 years old. Pic shows a tiny wrikled man on a sailboat with a captain's hat and giant sunglesses. Sorry, grandpa.

I'll give you all the details in my next post!

Just a little creepy....

A couple of weeks ago I had a threesome with a long-time playmate, Rob, and his friend, Chuck, another guy from the same swingers site where we met. It was great. A wonderful time was had by all.

A few days later Chuck called to say hi, did I want to hook up again? Not for a threesome with Rob (he was working that day), just with him. A one-on-one. I had to think it over. I really liked Rob better; he's funny, smart and has a wicked, sarcastic sense of humor. Chuck was OK. He hadn't really blown my mind, but I was bored and horny so I agreed.

He came to my place and it was nice. Nothing spectacular, but nice. He didn't say much. Not a brilliant conversationalist, but that's OK. We parted and I figured I'd never hear from him again. Wrong.

Since then he calls and texts me three or four times a day. "When r we gona hook up again?", "What r u doin?", "What r u wearing?", "How was ur day?", "Send me a pic of ur pussy." I reply very briefly and noncommittally. And if I don't reply right away.. "R U mad at me?", "What did I do?", "Didn't I satisfy u?"

A swingers manual would come in handy for situations like this. I could just refer him to Chapter 3: Your Playmates are Not Your Mommy, or Your Best Friends. He's a little young, so maybe he's made a common newbie error. Mistaking sex for love. Taking a few hook-ups and blowing them up in your mind into a long term relationship.

I sent him what I hope was a nice message: "Dear Chuck, Thank you for a wonderful time. Perhaps it would be best if you simply wait for me to let you know if I want to meet up again? Thanks, Primavera."

I haven't heard from him since, but it got me wondering. This guy knows where I live. I probably shouldn't have asked him to my house until I knew him better. Live and learn.

In the past year as a lifestyle newbie, I've had quite a few firsts. First time being tied up. First time in a threesome, foursome, orgy. First time having sex in a hot tub, on a swing, with another girl, while people watched.

Next week I'll be experiencing another first which may not be quite so pleasant. First time attending a house party with a date (my scrumptious accountant from last post) whose ex-gf will be in attendance.

We were having a steamy hotel rendezvous when, during a breather, we decided to attend an upcoming party together. We cracked open his laptop and fired up the internet to send our rsvp and check the guest list. Already searching for possible playmates to form a group.

Suddenly he said, seemingly out of the blue, "You're going to have to wear something sexy." Huh? I ALWAYS look sexy. "That," he pointed at the screen,"is my ex."

Now, first off, I'm not sure how "being in a relationship" works for people in the lifestyle, as these two certainly were when they were "together". All I know for sure is that it does not imply exclusivity. And I'm equally unsure how being and "ex" in the lifestyle works either. I naturally suggested we forgo the party if it would be uncomfortable, but he demurred. "No way! Let's go!"

I didn't want to be nosy, because asking a lot of personal questions seems to be a lifestyle taboo. But I needed some information to help me navigate what could easily become an estrogen-fired minefield. I asked, tactfully, who had initiated the break up and if it had been amicable. Turns out he had ended the affair and it had not been entirely amicable. Shit.

I had a flash of an ugly cat fight, drinks thrown, hair pulling, name calling, although I have never seen any of this kind of behavior at a lifestyle event. Amazing how calm people remain when they're having enough sex. I think this is the solution to all world problems. Everyone should have tons of mind-blowing sex.

So now I'm wondering .... how sexy should I look? It's never fun to rub another woman's nose in the fact that you're fucking her ex. Tacky, tacky, tacky. I'm also wondering if he'll want a "mending fences" threesome? More to come as details unfold...

Advice on my attire to this unusual social event is welcome!.

Primavera's Happy Blowjob Tips for Boys and Girls

In my last post I recounted how I coaxed an orgasm out of a gentleman who has trouble climaxing. Resistance is futile in the face of my outstanding oral skills! Since then many have asked for some tips for a great blowjob, here they are.

TIPS FOR GIRLS

1 GO SLOW
No prolonged, vigorous pumping and sucking. It desensitizes the cock. It's not a race.

2 THE BALLS
Pay attention to his balls, licking and sucking. Even if your mouth is elsewhere, cup them in your hand and fondle them.

3 THE PERINEUM
The perineum is the spot behind the balls. It's super sensitive. Lick it, then blow on it to give a chilly tingle.

4 THE ANUS
Work the anus. Some guys like it licked, some like penetration. Find out what your guy likes. Try inserting an anal plug and then blow him. He'll be crying for his mommy.

5 DEEP THROAT
Take the cock as deep as you can and "swallow" it. The contractions of your throat on the head of his cock will make him crazy.

6 VARIETY
Vary your routine. Keep changing what you're doing. Deep slow lollipop licks of the whole cock, and then change to little kitten licks on the head. Use your mouth for a while, then switch to hand work. Keep him guessing.

7 LOVE IT
Enjoy what you're doing. If you're not having fun, he'll know. (He might be too distracted to care, but he'll know.)

TIPS FOR BOYS

1 WASH
This is something you should have learned in kindergarten but it bears repeating because many of you have forgotten. Wash your entire body with warm soapy water every day paying special attention to your cock, balls, anus and ass crack. If my mouth is going to end up there, it better smell nice.

2 NO GRABBING
Don't put your hand on the back of my head when I'm going down on you. It can trigger the gag reflex. Don't believe me? Stick a banana down your throat and walk in my shoes.

3 NO HAIR PULLING
Hair pulling can be sexy, but not during a blowjob.

4 SO WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HANDS?
Stroke my neck and shoulders gently because after a while they get stiff.

5 MAKE SOME NOISE
Nothing turns me on more than hearing a man moan in helpless ecstasy when I blow him.

6 TALK TO ME
Do you like it? Is it too hard? To soft? Are you about to cum? An occasional update is helpful.

7 SWALLOWING
I don't swallow, so get over it. When you're going down on me, do I ask if I can pee in your mouth? No.

Further reading....

"How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" by Jenna Jameson

"The Guide to Getting it On" by D. Paul Joannides and Daerick Gross